For good.

Heads up readers: In an effort to consolidated my blogs that are sprawled far and wide across the no man’s land that is the internet, I will be moving over posts from a previous blog itsashleyperez.tumblr.com 

This particular post was originally written June 14, 2011. 

Lately, I have been faced with a lot of choices. And not the small kind like:

• “Do I want to watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or Superbad ?”
• “Should I eat this donut or go for a run?” 
• “Is it wrong to facebook stalk people?”

At this most glorious stage of my life I’ve been forced to come to terms with the big questions like: 

• “What does it mean to be a good person?” 
• “Should I live in New York or California?” 
• “What am I most looking for in a husband?” (this one’s not so urgent as of yet) 

These questions aren’t just hard, they’re paralyzing. I feel like I’m navigating a field of land mines… one wrong move and game over. My mind is constantly reeling wondering if I’m smart/old enough to be making these kind of life-altering decisions.

For example. If I move to New York, then most likely I will meet someone in New York and after a few years we’ll want to get married, BUT I’m not sure if I want to raise my kids on the East coast, especially because of the weather, but if I live in California and get a job here then my kids will never see the changing of the seasons and live their lives DEPRIVED OF FALL LEAVES (just like me) and they might resent me for the rest of their lives. I CAN’T JUST DEPRIVE MY CHILDREN OF THE JOYS OF NATURE!!!! 

You see how insane this is…. 

There is a verse, Romans 8:28 that says 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Which in my mind looked a lot like this… 

Aka in order for God to do good things with my life I had to work really really hard not to screw up my choices, because after all if I did, it’d just be one big train wreck leading straight to death. This lead to a lot of “forks in the road” which left me feeling constantly paralyzed by my inability to see into the future. 

But after thinking about it for a while I’ve come to the conclusion that God’s will looks more like this… 

Life is a series of choices and roads all leading to different places, full of good choices, bad choices, and choices that frankly don’t mean anything in the scope of your life. Somedays you’ll make better ones than others and the road that you’re traveling on will twist and turn as it intersects with others you’ve seen before. 

But here’s the good news, God’s goodness is not like a prize hidden behind only one of a thousand doors. It is not waiting for you only if you make perfect choices and never mess up.

God’s goodness is more like Diagram #2. It surrounds the many roads and choices we are making everyday, and that’s why for those who love Him and are trying (and failing) everything works out for His good. 

So join me in living your life. No need to waste more time paralyzed at the fork in the road. It doesn’t even exist.