How To Be A Catch

Watch out, comedy coming your way. I can’t help it, I’ve been watching too many Fox comedies about quirky girls (aka New Girl/The Mindy Project) so I thought I’d give my own quirkiness a shot. Disclaimer: my so called quirkiness may actually turn into full on weirdness, if so please exit my website and come back later when I’ve had time to delete this post. 

Anyways my whole “How to” thing seems to be becoming a trend of mine these days, check out How to Be a Beautiful Girl’s Best Friend here. I blame it on Kate Hudson, also known as “Andie Anderson, resident How To Girl” in one of the 2000s best rom-coms, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. However this how-to is not about losing boys, it’s about winning boys…. enter “How to Be A Catch”. 

Growing up my favorite movie was “Little Giants”, so much so that I made my friends call me “The Icebox” just like Becky O’Shea. You see I got Becky, a tomboy who just wanted to hang out with the guys, but was secretly in love with Jr. Floyd. Oh Icebox, I feel you. The scene where Jr. says if he “had” to learn how to kiss he’d want to learn with someone like Debbie, ouch. Heart, broken. Anyways besides teaching me about football, Little Giants taught me a lot about being yourself even when you’re the underdog, themes and motifs that I will now loosely attempt to turn into a blog post about man catching. Thanks, Icebox. 

Now seeing as I have never actually been caught by a boy, both figuratively and literally (I used to be a little pudgy in high school, and chubbyish in college) it may seem a little strange to you that I am writing a blog post about being a catch. But people are always saying things like “listen to your heart” and “follow your instinct” so I thought, hell I must know how to be a catch, I’m just not listening to my heart deeply enough (misplaced my stethoscope again). Anyways this is what my heart is saying to me at the current moment. 

How to be a catch: 

  1. Don’t be slippery: Let’s be really honest here, it’s hard to catch things when they’re slippery. So metaphorically speaking I guess I’m saying, stick to your guns (where did this phrase come from?) and just be who you are. Don’t be a slippery wishy-washy catch, be a solid one. 
  2. Put yourself in the right position: So I don’t really know a lot about football but from what I’ve seen it seems like a lot of times it’s not about how good the pass was, but about where the receiver was positioned. At least this is what my mom screams at the television when someone misses a pass (yes my mom). Therefore make sure you’re in the right place. Do you really want to meet someone at a bar?! Oh, you do…. well then by all means carry on. 
  3. A little heart: In life as in the Little Giants sometimes all it takes to win is a little heart. It’s not always the best team that wins, even when the odds are stacked in their favor, because we all know everyone loves and underdog. So really, I think the best thing you can do it just give it a little heart. 

How was that, huh? Cheesy, quirky, and 90s nostalgic all in one post. Someone give me a show on Fox already, right?